Augusta Family Law Attorney Blog

How gender equality impacts divorce settlement matters

2013-05-20T12:02:00Z

In years past when a couple divorced, oftentimes the husband was ordered to pay an ex-wife alimony. In traditional American households, husbands worked outside of the home while wives stayed home to tend to the household and children. As more and more women began choosing careers over household chores, however, many married couples struggled to find a working balance.

While today many women who work outside of the home have successful and fulfilling careers, many would likely admit encountering challenges when attempting to juggle both family and career. While traditionally men were the sole or chief breadwinner in a family, today a growing number of women out-earn a spouse.

]]> While some husbands are supportive of their wives' career aspirations, others may feel threatened or resentful. Women with children often also struggle with feeling guilty and feel torn between wanting a successful career and wanting to be an active and "good" mom. As more and more women and mothers attempt to balance work and home life, it's often the relationship between a husband and wife that suffers the most.

While many couples are able to overcome the challenges of a duel-income home, some such marriages end in divorce. With many women now earning more than their exes, it's becoming more and more common for a woman to be ordered to pay alimony to a an ex-husband. In cases where a woman earns more money than an ex-husband, it makes sense on paper that she would be ordered to pay alimony. For many women, however, this aspect of gender equality is not sitting well.

As gender roles in America continue to evolve and change, it will be interesting to see how matters related to divorce such as alimony, child custody and child support change. We'll continue to examine these types of issues and the impact on Georgia families in the coming months.

Source: Time, "The De-Gendering of Divorce: Wives Pay Ex-Husbands Alimony Too," Liza Mundy, May 6, 2013

Heavy metal singer arrested for attempted murder of ex-wife

2013-05-13T17:24:04Z

It's a sad reality that every nine seconds in the U.S., a woman is the victim of domestic violence. Despite this staggering statistic, the signs that a woman or family are suffering from domestic violence are not always outwardly apparent. Shame, embarrassment and a desperate need to preserve an outward appearance that 'everything is ok', are often cited by women who have admitted to covering up for a violent and abusive spouse or partner.

In some cases, however, the truth about a family's situation comes to light and must be dealt with accordingly. Fans of heavy metal music may be familiar with the band As I Lay Dying and its colorful lead singer Tim Lambesis. Those who are not familiar, however, may soon be as authorities recently arrested Lambesis on charges that he hired a man to kill his ex-wife.

]]> The couple, whose divorce was recently finalized, have three adopted children together. While the children's mother retains primary custody of the children, Lambesis regularly spent time with them while not on tour. According to court documents, the 32-year-old singer's wife had recently informed a family court judge that she was concerned about her ex-husband's conduct which included a growing obsession with body-building.

In these same documents, Lambesis' ex-wife documents instances where the singer fell asleep on the beach while watching the couple's children and his preoccupation with texting. While there is no mention of Lambesis being potentially dangerous, his ex-wife seemed to be moving towards petitioning the court for a protective order.

The heavy-metal singer was recently arrested on charges of attempted murder after he hired an undercover police officer to kill his ex-wife. Neither Lambesis or his ex-wife have commented on the charges, but it's likely additional information pertaining the this case and potential domestic violence will be forthcoming.

Source: The Huffington Post, "Tim Lambesis, At I Lay Dying Singer, Arrested In Murder-For-Hire Sting," Julie Watson, May 8, 2013

How divorced parents can avoid parental alienation

2013-05-06T20:13:05Z

Couples who decide to divorce often encounter many challenges. Parents who choose to divorce must not only come to a resolution with regard to a divorce settlement, they must also find a way to effectively communicate with an ex-spouse and co-parent. Doing so, however, is often wrought with conflict and can result in a phenomena know as parental alienation.

Parental alienation manifests when a child develops strong adverse feelings towards one parent. Such feelings often develop when a child constantly hears disparaging comments about one parent. The child may feel a strong allegiance with one parent and feel the need to effectively side with that parent. As a result, in cases of parental alienation, the child develops an unjustified hatred or dislike toward the other parent.

]]> Not only does parental alienation inhibit the impacted parent from having a close relationship with a child, it is also ultimately harmful to a child's psyche and emotional development. Children who have been affected by parental alienation often act out and fall victim to behavioral and emotional problems.

These children also tend to have low self-esteem and fear of abandonment. When left unresolved, such emotional and behavioral problems often continue into adulthood and can inhibit individuals from forming healthy, close and trusting relationships.

In some cases, parental alienation develops for seemingly unknown reasons. In most cases, however, it develops in response to feelings of loss, abandonment, anger and confusion. Parents who divorce should take proactive measures to ensure parental alienation does not become an issue in their family.

Openly and honestly communicating with a child about a divorce and not assigning blame to one parent is crucial. It's also important that parents continue to play an active and loving role in a child's life.

Source: Minnesota Lawyer, "In divorce, alienation a big risk," Paul M. Reitman, PH.D., Adam Gierok, April 12, 2013

Millionaire parents battle in court over child support amount

2013-05-01T16:07:03Z

A lawsuit was recently filed by 47-year-old Wall Street millionaire Warren G. Lichtenstein against his former girlfriend and mother of his daughter, Annabelle Bond. At issue, is the $50,000 per month chid support payments a Hong Kong court recently awarded Bond. An amount that Lichtenstein contends is unreasonable and based upon false financial information presented to the court by Bond and her current boyfriend, Andrew Cader.

Cader is also a multi-millionare and, according to the lawsuit, has gifted the 43-year-old Bond with millions of dollars. These "gifts", however, were allegedly concealed by Cader as loans to avoid paying taxes and having the sum count as income. Lichtenstein argues that Bond's legal attempts to secure large amounts of child support for the couple's 5-year-old daughter were made to "improve upon her already extraordinary life of luxury and privilege".

]]> While no one would dispute that Bond and her daughter do indeed lead a privileged life, at issue is how much Lichtenstein should contribute. Bond argues the sum she receives via monthly child support payments from Lichtenstein is used to provide for her daughter. She contends, the $41,800 per month is used to pay for her daughter's schooling, tutoring, medical costs and travel expenses.

As these two millionaire parents gear up for what is likely to be a long and contentious legal battle over child support payment amounts, Lichtenstein will be required to continue making the hefty monthly payments. While the circumstances of this case are unique in their wealth and scope, many Georgia parents deal with similar contentious child support issues.

Parents who believe their former spouse or partner is hiding assets in an attempt to qualify for higher child support or spousal support payments would be wise to consult with a family law attorney. An attorney who is adept in handling matters related to child support and alimony can be an invaluable resource and advocate.

Source: CNBC, "Millionaires Clash Over Socialite’s Child Support Claims," Peter Lattman, April 26, 2013

Advice for divorced parents

2013-04-25T16:48:26Z

Even the most seemingly together and loving couples are not immune to divorce. As the years wear on; expectations change, eyes wander and hurtful actions and words are expressed that cannot be forgotten. When a couple decides to divorce, both spouses likely experience a myriad of feelings and emotions. When that couple has children, such emotions are likely intensified and likely to linger for years.

]]> Parents who divorce don't have the luxury of walking away from each other. Even when a marriage ends, couples who share children must find a way to cooperate and work with one another for the betterment of their children.

Much like when a couple becomes parents, there is no rulebook on how to be a "good" divorced parent. There are, however, definitely things divorced parents should avoid doing and saying. Most importantly, it's wise not to trash or speak ill of an ex-spouse in front of shared children.

Co-parenting can be difficult and there are likely to be times when an ex-spouse's actions or inactions give rise to feelings of anger. It's important, however, that parents keep their cool and remember that children are incredibly impressionable and will pick up on feelings of animosity. A child who hears mom continually speaking poorly of dad may develop hostile feelings towards dad or begin to hide things from mom. In either case, blaming or bad-mouthing an ex-spouse in front of children will only serve to damage a child's psyche and sense of wellbeing.

Parents who divorce must find a way to communicate effectively with an ex-spouse and realize that regardless of personal feelings, an ex-spouse is still mom or dad to shared children. As such, it's important to find a way to co-parent in a mutually beneficial and respectful manner to ensure for happy and well-adjusted children.

Source: Fox News, "4 tips for parents going through divorce," Tina Paone, Thomas Petrelli, April 21, 2012

Beware social media websites when divorcing

2013-04-19T16:54:08Z

In the last decade, the popularity of social media websites such as Facebook has exploded. While many happily married couples use Facebook and similar social media websites to post pictures of their kids and get in touch with old friends, a large number of husbands and wives are using such sites for very different reasons.

]]> Roughly 80 percent of divorce attorneys report to using information gathered from social media or online dating websites as evidence during a divorce proceeding. In fact, an estimated 20 percent of married men and women use Facebook to flirt with other men and women. While flirting alone is not necessarily considered infidelity, in some cases such seemingly innocent behavior online leads to a physical encounter offline.

Not only can information on social media websites related to extramarital affairs be used as evidence during divorce proceedings, but so can photos and general comments. For example, divorce attorneys may use information obtained via Facebook when a client is embroiled in a custody battle. A mother with three children may insist she stays home every Friday night, but photographs and comments on Facebook may be used to prove otherwise and can, therefore, be potentially damaging to her chances of regaining or attaining child custody.

When using social media websites, there are some basic things that all Georgia residents going through a divorce should avoid. First, think before you type or upload that photo. A seemingly innocent comment or photograph can easily be misconstrued and used against an individual during a divorce. It's also wise to disable any location detecting notices that automatically post to social media websites. A husband and father who insists he stayed home Saturday night can quickly be caught in a lie when their Facebook status proves otherwise.

Source: The Huffington Post, "Facebook Cheating May Be Used Against You In Court," April 16, 2013

Divorce and why you shouldn't go it alone

2013-04-09T18:16:47Z

Many individuals who have gone through a divorce often have sage advice they wish someone had offered. As with many things in life, there are no do-overs with divorce and certain mistakes made during the divorce settlement process can have a long-lasting emotional and financial impact. While every divorce is unique, there are some universal truths which all individuals who face divorce would be wise to heed.

]]> Being as how this is a legal blog, many may think we're being partial. Truthfully, though obtaining a good divorce lawyer is likely the most important step a man or woman can take. Many couples who decide to divorce may have good intentions of doing so in a peaceable and amicable manner. However, in many cases, once matters related to finances, personal affects and children are involved, the gloves come off.

Divorce attorneys are legal professionals who act in a client's best interest. In most cases, they also have years of experience and are well-versed in how to negotiate favorable divorce settlements. They also have the added benefit of being personally removed. Therefore, a lawyer is able to view a situation from a practical and professional standpoint and provide advice based on facts and commonsense, not emotions.

For example, many divorcees fight over who will retain ownership of a home. In some cases, however, it may be in a client's best interest to let their ex have the home or sell the home. A divorce attorney who has witnessed the financial ruin of past clients can often serve as the voice of reason in cases where emotion may otherwise win out.

Source: The Huffington Post, "Divorce Advice: 23 Small Things That Will Cost You Big Time In Divorce," April 5, 2013

Deion Sanders divorce dispute continues

2013-04-05T14:05:51Z

Going through a divorce is often an emotionally-charged experience. Individuals going through a divorce often need the support and guidance of family, friends and a good divorce attorney to see them through the process. Divorce can be especially difficult for celebrities, politicians or other individuals who face added public scrutiny.

]]> Media outlets have widely reported on the contentious divorce between NFL star Deion Sanders and his ex-wife Pilar Sanders. The couple was married for 14 years and has three children together who are ages 13, 11 and 9. Reports indicate the couple has a home worth an estimated $21 million as well an apartment worth $4.5 million. They also apparently have an air-tight prenuptial agreement.

Pilar's legal team has alleged that the former NFL great has a net worth of roughly $250 million, which Deion's legal team has denied. Regardless of his net worth, per the couple's prenuptial agreement Pilar is only entitled to $1 million. She would also be able to collect child support; however, currently a judge has awarded custody of the couple's three children to Deion.

While Pilar's divorce attorneys are hopeful they will be able to secure additional settlement monies for their client, Dieon's lawyers are adamant that the prenuptial agreement is airtight. It seems as though disputes over the divorce settlement and child custody and support will continue as the couple readies their legal teams.

Georgia couples going through divorce often face similar challenges with regard to divorce settlement and child custody matters. When facing such issues, it's critical to enlist the assistance of a divorce attorney who can provide legal advice and guidance and who will advocate for a client at all times.

Source: New York Post, "No end zone for Deion Sanders divorce war," March 25, 2013

Wife killed by husband day divorce finalized

2013-03-26T19:38:08Z

Individuals who are involved in violent or abusive marriages often feel trapped and alone. In many cases, spouses suffering abuse are too frightened or embarrassed to seek help. Georgia residents who are involved in abusive relationships or marriages have options and should take the necessary steps to leave the marriage and ensure for their safety.

]]> News recently broke of an apparent murder-suicide in which a 37-year-old woman was gunned down by her estranged husband. The incident occurred on the same day that the couple's divorce was finalized. On that day, police say the 40-year-old former police officer drove to his ex-wife's home, kicked in the door and proceeded to shoot her several times. The man then turned the gun on himself.

This tragic end to a troubled relationship and marriage illustrates the grave dangers of an abusive relationship. While few details have emerged about the couple's relationship, the 37-year-old woman filed for divorce and requested a temporary restraining order against her husband in October of 2012. Also, police reports indicate that officers were called to the couple's home in September 2012 for an incident related to domestic violence.

Stories such as the one discussed above are all too common. Spouses, who fear for their safety or that of their children, should immediately take steps to obtain a temporary restraining order. Once an abusive spouse is no longer a physical threat, an abused spouse can begin the process of filing for divorce.

Our law firm helps individuals who are adversely impacted by domestic violence. Our attorneys assist clients in obtaining restraining orders and through the entire divorce process.

Source: NBCDFW, "Divorcing DeSoto Couple Dead in Apparent Murder-Suicide," Jeff Smith and Omar Villafranca, March 20, 2013

Finances top concern for gray divorcees

2013-03-22T16:28:32Z

We've discussed here in this blog before the growing number of baby boomers who are deciding to divorce. Divorce can be a difficult and emotional process at any age. Couples in their 50s, 60s or 70s who are going through the divorce process, however, often face a unique set of challenges.

]]> As the number of couples engaging in so-called gray divorce grow, so too do the number of legal professionals catering to this age demographic. In most circumstances, couples aged 50 and older who choose to divorce have a different set of questions and concerns than younger couples going through a divorce.

In most cases, child custody matters are not a concern for couples who choose to divorce later on in life. Shared children are likely grown and starting families of their own. This does not, however, mean that grown children won't be affected by the divorce. In fact for some adult children whose parents divorce, the process can be extremely painful and stir up unresolved memories and emotions from their childhood. In any event, it's important that parents attempt to be sensitive when discussing divorce with adult children.

For older couples who divorce, money is typically the biggest concern. Whether nearing or in retirement, these individuals are faced with the challenge of dividing and living on assets meant to support a couple. For most this means significant lifestyle changes including delaying retirement, re-entering the workforce and downsizing. To lessen the blow, it's wise for individuals to approach the divorce process with a realistic view of how a divorce will impact their financial wellbeing.

For individuals in their 50s and older going through a divorce, it's important to retain a skilled divorce attorney. While it's likely that these individuals will be forced to make concessions and adjustments with regard to their lifestyle and standard of living, an experienced divorce attorney can help provide for the best possible financial outcome.

Source: The Huffington Post, "Gray Divorce: How To Make Splitting Later In Life Less Stressful," March 15, 2013

Divorce: lessening the blow of potential financial pitfalls

2013-03-15T15:59:48Z

There's no sugarcoating it, going through a divorce can be difficult. Some have equated the divorce process to an emotional and financial rollercoaster with many surprise twists and turns along the way. While it can be difficult to prepare for the unforeseen emotional toll a divorce may take, an individual can take steps to prepare for certain financial considerations.

]]> As we approach the April 14 tax deadline, individuals who recently divorced would be wise to take steps to prepare. In most cases, newly divorced individuals will file as single which can have a negative impact on their pocketbook come tax time.

Retirement planning is another financial consideration that can have a major impact on an individual's future. When it comes to the impact the splitting of retirement accounts will have on an individual's financial health during retirement, much depends on an individual's age. Older individuals who divorce are more likely to be hit the hardest as they don't have as much time to attempt to recoup the loss in income. In many cases, these individuals are often forced to work longer or adjust their lifestyles accordingly.

For parents who divorce, child care costs often account for a large portion of monthly costs. In many cases, child care costs are on par with monthly mortgage payments. While child support payments from a non-custodial parent may help cover a large portion of known child care costs, there are always unforeseen costs that crop up that are difficult to predict and keep track of.

While the emotional and financial blows associated with divorce are sometimes enough to make even the most unhappy couples reconsider their decision, it's important to note that things will improve with time. The key to lessening the financial blows often associated with divorce is to be prepared. It's also wise to enlist the assistance of a skilled divorce attorney who is experienced in dealing with matters related to divorce settlements.

Source: Forbes, "5 Ways Divorce Takes Your Money," Kenneth Rapoza, March 12, 2013

Coping with an unwanted divorce

2013-03-07T15:32:34Z

We often discuss matters related to divorce in this blog such as finances, child custody, co-parenting and spousal support. A topic that we haven't touched on much, however, is when a divorce isn't a mutual decision. For many individuals who eventually divorce, however, the decision to do so wasn't initially theirs.

]]> Marriages end in divorce for a number of reasons. Couples grow apart, financial concerns drive couples apart or one or both partners have affairs. Regardless of the reasons, being informed by a spouse that they want a divorce can be devastating.

When these words have been uttered, however, there is no going back and it's best to take measures to protect oneself both financially and emotionally. Acceptance of the reality of the situation is key. While a shell-shocked spouse may believe they can win their husband or wife back, in most cases this is not going to happen.

As difficult as it can be, it's important to accept that the marriage is indeed ending and start to envision how life can be better. Taking things one day at a time is important as attempting to lay out a whole new life can be extremely overwhelming. It's important, however, to realize that as time marches on things will get better.

Letting go of a marriage emotionally is often the most difficult, but critical step in truly moving on. In order to do so it's important that individuals struggling with divorce seek the advice of both a skilled counselor and experienced legal professional. Doing so can help ensure for the best possible outcome for both one's personal and financial life.

Source: The Huffington Post, "10 Tips For Surviving The Aftermath Of Your Spouse Asking For A Divorce," Aunt Becky, March 2, 2013

Gray divorcees face unique financial challenges

2013-02-27T21:19:59Z

In recent years, social scientists have noted a trend in the increasing number of couples over the age of 50 who are choosing to divorce. Deemed "gray divorce", the term has come to represent a growing trend in American society of couples who decide, for a variety of reasons, to divorce later on in life.

]]> Some believe the rise in divorce rate amongst baby boomers is largely attributable to societal changes including evolving expectations related to what constitutes a good marriage. People are living longer and therefore have more time to contemplate what they ultimately want and need from a life partner. As such, many couples who have been married for more than 20 or 30 years are suddenly calling it quits.

While the potential reasons contributing to the spike in the divorce rate amongst baby boomers are often discussed, the financial impact on individuals and society is not. Oftentimes when a couple in their late fifties or early sixties decides to divorce, the financial implications of such a decision are not fully realized.

Couples with retirement accounts, will be forced to split their assets in half. This means retirement assets that were meant to fund one household, must now fund two. As such, for many gray divorcees, the decision to divorce later in life brings with it many lifestyle changes. Gone are the dreams of enjoying a leisurely retirement as many divorced baby boomers are forced to work well into their upper 60s and 70s.

While an unhappy couple of any age shouldn't remain married merely for financial reasons, couples over the age of 50 often have more financial considerations. For these couples, smart financial planning and sound legal advice from a divorce attorney experienced in handling gray divorces can be greatly beneficial.

Source: USA Today, "Boomer divorce: A costly retirement roadblock," Rodney Brooks, Feb. 26, 2013

Laws dictating military alimony provisions likely to change

2013-02-21T17:24:12Z

The men and women who serve in America's military often make great personal sacrifices. Divorce rates among military personnel have historically been high and have steadily increased in recent years. The added pressures associated with months or years spent apart would be enough to drive a wedge in most marriages. Add to this the stress associated with being deployed in a foreign and hostile environment and it's no wonder that many military marriages end in divorce.

]]> While it's common in many divorces for one spouse to receive spousal support or alimony, the laws dictating such for veterans have recently come under attack. Currently under the Uniformed Service Former Spouses Protection Act or USFSPA, non-disability military retirement pay is treated as property. As such, a family law judge can, and often does, choose to award up to 50 percent of a veteran's military pension to an ex-spouse.

The actual percentage of retirement benefits awarded to an ex-spouse is typically based on the number of years a couple was married during a veteran's active duty. If a husband served for 20 years and was married to the same woman for all 20 of those years, under current USFSPA guidelines, the ex-wife would be entitled to 50 percent of the veteran's pension.

There are numerous arguments on both sides related to the so-called "fairness" of the current USFSPA rules. Veterans contend they should not be required to forfeit a large portion of a pension that they earned through years of serving their country. A military ex-spouse, however, would likely contend they did the same, albeit it in a different way.

Several states are currently revising rules related to the terms by which ex-spouses are allowed to collect alimony payments. Current rules being amended include provisions that allow for life-time alimony. A competent divorce attorney who is well-versed in military family law matters can help provide for the best possible legal outcome.

Source: News Max, "Military Divorcees Aim to End Lifetime Alimony Rules," David Yonkman, Feb. 18, 2013

Do couples who drink together stay together?

2013-02-12T19:36:34Z

Many married couples in Georgia may enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or a couple drinks while out for the evening. Problems often arise, however, when one spouse chooses to indulge in too many alcoholic beverages on a regular basis. Not only has heavy drinking been linked to many health problems, drinking heavily also increases the likelihood that an individual's marriage will end in divorce.

]]> A new study examined the relationship and impact of drinking and marriage. For the study, researchers examined the relationships and drinking habits of nearly 20,000 couples over the course of 15 years. The couples were asked questions related to alcohol use and monitored regularly to assess how their attitudes towards and habits related to drinking changed.

Results of the study prove that heavy drinking often leads to divorce. Couples who experienced the highest rates of divorce were those where the woman drank excessively. The reasoning may be that women metabolize alcohol more quickly and are therefore more adversely impacted by its effects. Another possibility is that alcohol use amongst women isn't as socially acceptable and therefore men are more prone to leave.

Results of the study show that couples where both husband and wife are light to moderate drinkers have the lowest divorce rates, whereas marriages in which one spouse is a heavy drinker often end in divorce. The results of the study prove that alcohol use may be an important indicator of a marriage's success.

Couples who are planning to marry would be wise to have frank and honest discussions related to attitudes and habits related to alcohol. Likewise, if a husband or wife is experiencing problems with drinking too much, they would be wise to seek professional help for the benefit of their health and marriage.

Source: Fox News, "Heavy drinking raises risk of divorce," Stephanie Pappas, Feb. 6, 2013